A couple of posts by fellow bloggers got me thinking about Leap day and that obscure Irish tradition where a lady can ask a man to marry her on this day that only occurs once every four years. Fragile Looks says she's feeling stressed, and what does the doctor order? Get Married! As if. As if it's so easy to get married, right?
I can just imagine a woman walking down the street with a placard around her neck saying, "Marry Me?", until a man stops her and takes her to the nearest priest or registry. Or, she'll barge into her neighborhood bar and pick up the first guy her eyes land on. I hope you're imagining this happening in Nigeria? What do you think will happen after that?
To be fair though, the scenario is only as far fetched as the origin of Leap day reverse proposals. The whole story has Sadie Hawkins and other women chasing down men like cattle and dragging them, kicking and screaming, to the old ball and chain. Now don't ask me where that whole comparing marriage to being tied down comes from, check out Doll's post - 2weeks+ of married life :)
Anyway, Ego Du Jour was exploring how the men may feel if their ladies popped the question.
I imagine there are men out there that would find a "reverse" proposal emasculating--regardless of whether or not they planned to propose. After all, it is traditionally a man's job to propose and who knows how he will feel having that "taken away" from him? Besides, women ask men to propose everyday with words, actions, etc so after all that work why not just let him propose?
I totally agree with the first part. I think many men would not like their women to ask first if they regard it as their role. And with society as it is, many men will feel that way. But, I got thinking about the actions Ego was referring to? Are indirect words and actions really enough to let a man know you want, and are ready, to get married? Let's consider some of them;
1. You sleep with him? That could just land you in forever "Friends with Benefits" slot.
2. You cook for him? The man may not be a foodie, or he doesn't need another mother.
3. You get pregnant for him? If you're not careful, you only get a Baby Mama position.
4. You talk endlessly about your life together and the children you'll have? You become boring!
5. You go direct to it and ask him to define the relationship? He gets skittish and zooms off.
6. You withhold sex till he puts a ring on it? He might move on out, or worse, sideways.
7. You're the diva GF, waiting till marriage to turn domestic goddess? He marries Ekaette (no offense).
What do you guys think? My conclusion is that if you feel the time is right for you and your boo, and you're both on the same page, don't play games. Just go right out and say the words, "Will you Marry me?" And you don't have to wait till the next leap day either. :)
Welcome to March everyone, and do have a great month!
